Consent

Yes Means Yes

 

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Consent is an important foundation for healthy relationships. It's not a complicated concept, it just means to voluntarily communicate "yes" on your own terms without coercion. Consent is particularly important when talking about BDSM or sex. No person should be forced into any situation that they find unpleasant. But there is still a lot of questions people have about it. What is consent? How does it apply to BDSM?

Consent & BDSM

There are different philosophies when it comes to the guidelines for safe BDSM play. The biggest disasters in BDSM happen when the players involved do not have a clear understanding of who the other player is, if they are a trustworthy person, and what that player's history is with BDSM (Brame, 2000). For a long time, the phrase "Safe, Sane, and Consensual" held dominance for being a significant phrase translating into a message of comfort and safety between players. Recently another dominant school of thought has arisen with the mantra of "Risk Awareness Consensual Kink" (also known as R.A.C.K). Both of these phrases boil down to the same message, and for many it is a matter of personal preference, but here we will explore the meanings behind both and highlight any differences between the two schools of thought at the present time. We will also explore some of the other aspects of consent and how it applies to BDSM & kinky play.

Woman's legs bound by rope in safe, sane, & consensual philosophy
Safe, Sane, & Consensual
What does Safe, Sane, & Consensual mean?
SSC
Woman with collar and chain respecting Risk aware consensual kink
Risk Aware Consensual Kink
What is Risk Aware Consensual Kink actually mean?
R.A.C.K
what is the difference between safe, sane, and consensual and risk aware consensual kink?
SSC VS R.A.C.K
What is the difference between SSC and R.A.C.K?
SSC vs R.A.C.K
two people kissing
Barriers to Consent
What are the common barriers that stop consent?
Barriers to Consent
two people embraced
Giving & Getting Consent
So how do you give or get consent in BDSM?
Give/Get Consent

Get Clear Consent

If you are ever in doubt of where someone is at, just ask. Checking for and respecting consent is sexy, it shows that you care about the well being and comfort of your partner. It also shows that you are an ethical play partner who is less likely to foster an abusive relationship. Build a strong foundation for a solid BDSM relationship and always make sure to get clear consent from your partner. If you want to stay in touch with new articles to our site, please join the mailing list at the bottom. Go one step further and support Keeping it Kinky by visiting our store.

Written April 13, 2015 | Updated October 6, 2016
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