People First:
Disabilities & BDSM

54 million people in the United States, or about one in five, have a disability (U.S. Census Bureau, 1997). This number increases daily as the population ages. In fact, people with disabilities constitute the largest and fastest growing minority in the United States. One in eight Americans is over 65 today; by 2030, the proportion will be one in five (U.S. Census Bureau, 1997).

These statistics make it safe to assume that you or someone you know has a disability whether or not you are aware of it. Disabilities may or may not be obvious but it is important to communicate with people with disabilities in a "people first" manner-- the disability does not define the person even though it plays an integral part of their lives.

"People first" language and attitude can also be applied to the BDSM community in that individuals are not merely their lifestyle identity regardless if they participate in it 24/7 or sporadically. In regards to disabilities within the BDSM community in which open communication and negotiations of scenes are paramount, it is of upmost importance that any disabilities be discussed to understand the individual's capabilities, build confidence, and become more aware.

What is a disability?

Definitions of disability vary in different circumstances, ranging greatly in their level and degree of inclusion and their perspective on the nature of disability. The Americans with Disabilities Act or ADA defines a person with a disability as someone who has "a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits major life activities; has a record of such an impairment; or is regarded as having such an impairment" (ADA Title 42, Chapter 126, Section 12102, 1990), whereas the American Heritage Dictionary (2001) defines it as "incapacity;...a disadvantage or deficiency, especially a physical or mental impairment that impedes normal achievement;...something that hinders of incapacitates."

These different definitions reflect divergent models of disability; the dictionary definition situates disability outside the realm of "normal," dichotomizing "disability" and "normality." Taking into consideration the "people first" language and attitude model, we can be able to see the the individual first, the lifestyle status in BDSM second, and the disability as a tertiary characteristic. BDSM should not expand the schism between "normal" and "disability", but as members of an open, positive community we should welcome people of all capabilities.

Types of Disabilities

Having a "people first" language and attitude comes from being knowledgeable about the disability community and is a prerequisite before deciding to scene or start a D/s or M/s relationship with someone who has a disability. Playing or communicating with a person with a disability requires some basic knowledge of different types of disabilities and how they can affect individuals.

If we consider the ADA definition of a disability and who legally qualifies as being "disabled", people who have a physical, sensory, or intellectual impairment qualify if it affects their basic life functions on a daily basis whether it is temporary or permanent. The most recent amendments to the ADA also include those who are HIV positive and terminal cancer as a qualifying disability. Despite the fact there are millions of people who qualify as having a disability, the general public is still unaware of the different types disabilities.

A physical disability is a broad category in which some of the following may apply: a person who may have quadriplegia or paraplegia; a person who needs to rely on an assistive device to mobilize such as a cane or walker; a person with a sustained or temporary injury that affects their mobility; a person whose physical state such as weight affects their mobility; multiple sclerosis; an amputation; cerebral palsy; diabetes; arthritis; and many others. If we think about all the possible combinations of factors that affects mobility, we may realize that we most likely know an individual who has or perhaps ourselves have had at one time a physical disability.

Many elements of BDSM require physical stamina and considerable physical exertion whether it is through a top or bottom position. One cannot assume that if a person seems to be walking around unassisted that they have not had a prior injury that affected their mobility or that this person would be able to scene for hours at a time if it required considerable physical stamina or exertion. During negotiations for a scene, ask an individual if they have any physical problems that would otherwise cause the scene to be altered such as a back injury, a prior surgery, or an inability to stay in one physical position for a prolonged period of time.

The weight of the top or bottom is also something to consider if they are within the range of morbid obesity (100lbs or 45. 35kg or more) as this can affect physical stamina however do not automatically judge someone as incapable of a scene based on their outward appearance or qualifying disability. There is an infinite way of altering a scene for someone with a physical disability, such as having someone alternate between standing or sitting; taking breaks between a scene; and learning how to incorporate a wheelchair or chair into a scene. A guaranteed way of finding of what is best for the top or bottom is by asking what has worked or not worked in the past for them.

One of the more complex disabilities to consider are those that affect the senses, or sensory related disabilities. Touch, smell, taste, sight, and hearing are all critical elements which can be amplified or taken away (e.g. sensory deprivation) through BDSM play. However, what if your bottom or top could only see you in certain light or through certain angles? As visual beings, we learn by looking and while many people wear glasses, contacts or have surgery there are those individuals whose eye sight is too poor to correct. These individuals would be considered to have a visual impairment. Macular degeneration, cataracts, glaucoma, and cortical visual impairment are just a few examples of types of visual impairments that can occur later in life or during childhood, respectively. Blindness is also a type of visual impairment however it is considered to be more severe. One can be color blind, have night blindness, or be legally blind which is to have a vision of 20/200 or greater however only 10 to 20% of people who are legally blind have a complete loss of vision in which they cannot perceive any light (Scholl, 1986).

Blindness and other visual impairments may seem to pose as a major barrier that prevents further communication or consideration of play in BDSM. When applying a "people first" perspective, BDSM allows for people to become more empowered and self-fulfilled but this does not mean individuals need to rely on their eyes only to see themselves as such. Those who have visual impairments from childhood or later in life often have memories of what objects look like or can see to a certain degree and do not need assistance in mobilization unless they ask for it (it is more courteous to ask if they need assistance and be turned down than it is to assume). Ask the individual what type of visual impairment they have as this can affect how your scene plays out--as an example, a person with a lack of peripheral vision may want you to always be directly in front of them and not to the side.

Another sensory related disability that can affect one's play and most importantly, communication is when someone cannot hear within the normal decibel range or lacks the sensitivity to sound. They would be considered deaf or hard of hearing. Deafness is defined by "levels of hearing loss whose severity is measured by the degree of loudness (or decibels) a sound must attain before it is heard by an individual. Mild deafness ranges from 10 dB to 30 dB, moderate deafness ranges from 30 dB to 60 dB, severe deafness ranges from 60 dB to 90 dB, and profound (or total) deafness ranges from 90 dB to 120 dB or more" (NC State University, 2011). Similar to blindness and other visual impairments, an individual can be born deaf or hard of hearing or become late- deafened or hard of hearing due to genetic reasons, illnesses, or injuries. Some individuals who are hard of hearing rely on hearing aids but can converse through speech whereas individuals who are deaf may use hearing aids or have a cochlear implant and converse through speech. Many deaf individuals also chose not to use hearing aids or have a cochlear implant for cultural reasons or because they are not comfortable relying on speech but prefer communication through sign language.

The "people first" perspective on this type of sensory related disability is that the hearing or nonhearing status of an person should not disqualify them as a potential friend, playmate, or significant other. It is important to recognize the possible issues could present themselves when trying to converse or play with someone who is deaf and relies on sign language as the primary method of communication. Learning sign language is one option and it is a long but rewarding process however starting off by learning a few basic signs would help during a scene such as when using a safe word or signing a command. Other ways of communication would be through writing notes or texts to each other, gesturing and lipreading (if the deaf individual can lipread). Negotiate before a scene whether hoods or blindfolds will be incorporated, or only used during short periods of time and also take into consideration how bondage would potentially restrict hand movements.

The last type of disability and also the most broad is an intellectual disability. According to the American Association of Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities, an intellectual disability is "characterized by significant limitations both in intellectual functioning and in adaptive behavior, which covers many everyday social and practical skills" (2011). People who have an intellectual, sometimes also called a developmental or cognitive, disability may have dementia or Alzheimer's disease; a brain injury; high or low functioning Autism including Asperger's Syndrome; Down's Syndrome; or a specific learning disability. While the aforementioned disabilities are only a sampling of what or how an intellectual disability manifests itself, it is difficult to discuss each and every one in this article as every individual is affected differently.

In general, intellectual disabilities will affect the ability of the individual to learn and retain information and how they perceive others and the world around them. Approaching a person with an intellectual disability with an open mind and positive "people first" attitude will help with negotiations of a scene as all people involved will become aware of what methods should or shouldn't be used. Examples of this would be to make sure the surroundings of the area are not distracting for a person with ADD/ADHD or on the Autism Spectrum and to continue to direct their focus on yourself or the partner. An individual with a central auditory processing disorder, a type of learning disability, would also appear to have ADD or ADHD however it is not their attention but how they perceive sounds that needs to be in tune with the scene at hand and it is critical that a person with CAPD does not have a lot of ambient noise surrounding them. For individuals on the Autism Spectrum, some stimulus such as sights, sounds, or touch can be overwhelming and this should be addressed before deciding to create a scene that greatly heightens any one of the senses.

Conclusion

The number of individuals with disabilities continues to increase and it is to be expected that the number of individuals with disabilities within the BDSM community will also grow. By taking a "people first" approach to BDSM, we can foster a more positive and welcoming community for those with different abilities. With this type of attitude, we will realize that we all share more in common together than we may have initially assumed since we all are people, first.