Choosing Attributes
It is always good to keep an open mind to people as you may find someone amazing who may not have initially been appealing to you. While keeping yourself open to new experiences is an important part of growing, whenever meeting new people who you consider making yourself intimate to, be it sexual, emotional, or otherwise, you should always be aware of red flags. Many people in the BDSM and kink culture are careful and our community looks to protect each other from abusers but these are important signs to watch out for in a prospective new partner. Aside from watching for signs of potentially unsafe players and being aware of a prospective player's ethics, you should also think about the following.
Attributes That Attract You
Everyone has their own tastes and preferences for romantic partners, play partners, and friends. If you are looking to begin a rewarding play relationship you may experience less friction if you keep your own preferences in mind. It is also important to note that what you may be attracted to, may not be the best prospective playmate for you. These are some characteristics and things you may wish to think about when exploring whether someone will make a suitable BDSM partner.
Attraction Improves Enjoyment
Whether you are having a sexual relationship with your play partner or have a friendship outside of your playtime, having someone that you are attracted to and respect makes for better play sessions. The more comfortable you feel with your partner, the deeper sense of connection you will develop during your play sessions. Be honest with yourself. Now that we've examined what we are looking for and what characteristics we'd like to see in our partner we can begin to look for a play partner.
