Choosing Attributes: Age

Age Cannot Predict Experience

Many players have the fantasy of some hot young thing that either takes complete control or yields total submission and enacts out a complicated scene, often with forms of advanced BDSM. The fantasy typically shows this young player as experienced, knowledgeable, and articulate.

While fantasies are alright and something you can work towards, you must remember the limitations of such fantasies. Many young players are lacking an important, if not crucial, piece: experience. A younger player cannot be expected to have the experience required for some of the heavier aspects of BDSM. They may still be developing their own confidence, tastes, interests, and skills. They may not know where their boundaries lie or be at a place of emotionally/life maturity to desire the type of relationship that you are interested in (Salon's Kitty, 2011).

Conversely, there are those players who enter the lifestyle or interest later in life or have not had any opportunity to gain experience in BDSM. When you are considering future play partners, be sure to take experience into account with age and cater that to your real desires for BDSM. If you are really set on a particular age and that player is not meeting your dreams for the desired interaction, be patient and discuss it with your partner; you can build together.

Age & Desired Relationships

People of a certain age can be looking for specific types of relationships. This is not a hard and fast rule but more of a generality. For the majority of the population, those in their 20s tend to be more casual in their attachments while those in their 30s tend to be looking for a more serious commitment. There are no marked trend for those in higher age brackets. You should be aware of where your partner is emotionally and what type of relationship they are looking for. You should also be aware of where you are and being able to communicate that to your partner.

Does Age Really Matter?

How old your potential partner is only matters if you feel that it does. If age is something you are sensitive about then you should give take time to consider where your comfort age range is. Age can be a measure of maturity but it is not always the most accurate one. When people talk about age they are really making an assumption of how much life experience a person has. While this can reliable as a general guideline it cannot be applied to everyone. You may wish to take personality into account.